First Week of the New Year

I am starting this blog as a fun way to help me process my training and to also (and mainly) to create a sense of accountability to my training and triathlon lifestyle. I am a little self-conscious about blogging, but I figure it's a good way for me to communicate and participate in my training in a new way.

I completed my first triathlon in August 1990, shortly after my father passed away at a very young 52. Perhaps as a way to cope with his death, I committed my life 100% to triathlon and, for the next several years, lived singularly focused on training and racing. As a result of an unbalanced priority perspective and an overly compulsive (and unhealthy) commitment to training, I burned out completely.

After coming home from a ride during the summer of 1994, I got off my ride and essentially sold or gave away everything and anything that had to do with triathlon.

I didn't swim, bike or run for 8 years. The day it changed was when I found some of my old tri racing photos and showed it to my wife who, without really thinking, asked me, "What happened?"

I bought a bike the next day and started training. Age and time away had taken its toll, however. For the first three years, I battled weight and injury issues and, even though I completed Ironman Wisconsin 2005-14:03:27 (and also IM Coeur d'Alene '07-12:20:13), I have never been able to get back to my lean racing weight of my earlier days.

I'm 43 now and understand that I've gotten older, my body has changed and my recovery is slower, but I realize now that I have been using that as an excuse not to fully commit to the lifestyle.

I train but always with a careful reluctance to jump completely in. After burning out so badly, I am wary of burning out again. I do realize, however, that I need to raise my commitment to a far greater level.

The triathlon lifestyle, if treated with respect and commitment, offers the promise of good health and mindfulness. It offers an incredible opportunity to challenge and, at the very best moments, a chance to see inside yourself without filter or pretense. And through this, you come to understand yourself in new ways.

Where my training life is most lacking is through the 4th discipline of diet and weight. I have always loved eating and, in younger and more in-shape years, trained to eat. I can no longer live that life.

I am 5'9" and my present weight is 200 lbs. My goal is to race IMW at 170 lbs.

I plan to trace all aspects of my 2010 training and my relative life experiences through this blog and to keep a running dialogue of what I am experiencing, accomplishing, being challenged by, and really feeling about my new commitment. I hope this blog will act as an avenue for me to understand myself and my motivations in a deeper, more mindful way.

My weight goal is about creating a healthier lifestyle and a deeper commitment to my future. And it begins now.