ANDREA'S PASSING

My friend, Andrea Fisher passed away on Saturday, May 1st shortly after 5:00 pm. She was surrounded by her family and the family's pastor, Keith Potter.

Her final moments, I think, were as peaceful as possible given her advanced condition. The weeks leading up to the final days were not comfortable for Andrea. Once the doctors advised her nothing more could be done and Andrea decided to no longer fight, the chemo treatments that kept the cancer at bay were stopped.

It was difficult to see how quickly the cancer took over Andrea's body. The pain she had always dealt with became more difficult to manage every day. And during her last days, Andrea was mostly asleep, almost comatose, deeply sedated.

Although the final weeks of Andrea's life were difficult for all of us, we were all so deeply touched by the incredible impression she had in each of our lives. I have already mentioned in previous posts how unconditionally she had always loved me, how she had always accepted who I was even in the moments when I could not accept myself.

We each, I believe, had time to reflect on how Andrea had touched our lives as we sat and talked with her and, in the final days, sat quietly by her side as she slept. Andrea's life was and has always been a gift to me. I realized that fact soon after I met her while in college.

The final weeks of her life confirmed to everyone who knew her just how much she had touched each of our lives. We all struggled with the anticipation of her passing and carried our grief with us wherever we went, but we also talked of our love for her and her family and how she had deeply influenced our lives.

It is a wonderful thing, a fitting tribute, to share a common love and appreciation for someone, to know and recognize how better our lives are by having known Andrea. She changed our lives and made them better. And the discussion we shared and the sadness and the gratefulness were, really, Andrea's last gift to us.

She is survived by her husband, Steve, her oldest son, Ryan, her daughter, Katelyn, and her youngest boy, Miles, her loving parents, Mary and Al, and a large group family and friends.

In many small but wonderful ways, I, as I am sure with everyone else, carry Andrea's spirit closely. She is often with me throughout my day and most especially when I am training. There are moments on my long rides or long runs that I find comfort in remembering her influence in my life, a short conversation we had, her laugh or, even better, her laughing at me. Often, I have a short cry, say her name, have a moment and find a way to be grateful for all that she was.

My training since Andrea's passing has been spotty, at best. Shortly after her passing, my heart to focus and train just wasn't there. Although I have taken inspiration from her life, I really could not find a way to concentrated and honest effort.

I have, however, been able to put together a solid block of training over the past few weeks and am feeling better on the bike and the run. I am in the last build up before my Ironman taper and anticipate three more 100+ mile rides and a few double run days before the race. I am looking forward to them and, for the first time in a while, have found a mental focus and excitement for training.

Updating this blog has been difficult as well. I had started and stopped this post several times over the past two months, but just could not find a way to finish it. I am hoping that the post gives honor to Andrea's life in some small way.

I do know this: Much of what I know about the good things in this life have much to do with my experiences with Andrea and her friendship and love. My life has been better because of her. And it is for this reason, that I must always strive to find a meaningfulness in this life. It is the best way in which I can honor her memory.

ANDREA FISHER UPDATE

On behalf of the Fisher family, I want to thank everyone who has sent words of love and support for Andrea and the family during this very difficult and challenging time. Your prayers have meant very much to everyone.

Sadly, Andrea's condition has taken an unfortunate turn. Shortly after the last round of chemo and radiation, Andrea's doctors performed a scan to see how she had responded to the last round of treatment.

Unfortunately, the scan revealed several new tumors in separate parts of her body, including her liver. These new tumors had grown in a very short period of time and during her chemo. Shortly thereafter, doctors let Steve and Andrea know the cancer was pervasive and that the prospect of it being cured was no longer possible. They advised them to discuss the situation with their three children and to begin getting Andrea's affairs in order.

This latest news has confirmed a reality everyone has feared. It is heartbreaking.

There is no clear expectation of how things will progress and the family is taking things day by day. Her parents, Al and Mary, have come to stay with Andrea and to support the family.

Andrea's comfort is the priority now. She is tired and often cold and in pain. She is taking oral chemo and other drugs that often make her drowsy. We have all had the chance to visit with her and she is as beautiful and kind as always.

The grace and thoughtful dignity she brought to our lives when healthy has never been more evident than now in her moment of fading strength. She is still managing her family, choosing outfits for her daughter, Katy-girl, encouraging her eldest son, Ryan, to finish his homework and loving her youngest son, Miles, with the same gentleness and open heart.

I have written in this blog that although her husband, Steve, has and always will be my very best friend, Andrea has, in fact, become just as important and meaningful in my life. She has supported and loved me through my darkest hours without question or judgment and has loved my daughter, Keats, like her own.

I have tried for weeks to avoid writing this update knowing it would bring up the emotions I have tried so long to avoid. As I write this, I am realizing that my lingering cold, my lack of motivation to train, my overall dullness and need to seek distraction are all related to avoidance: my denial of what I now must learn to accept.

A life without Andrea.

She is not gone yet and there is still time to spend with her. Her friends all privately grieve for her and are, like me, trying to make sense of the world. We are all sad and, I am sure, have moments of deep sobbing. This, I think, is further testament to the impact Andrea has had on so many lives.

Yeats once wrote:

Think where man's glory most begins and ends,
and say my glory was I had such friends.

More specifically, I think, we can all try to find some small comfort in sharing our lives with Andrea and for being loved by her in so many ways.

Your continued prayers and good thoughts are important. Please continue to carry Andrea in your heart as she needs support more than ever.

BACK FROM ILLNESS

I have not been able to blog these past four weeks because I have been fighting one of the worst viruses I have ever had. What started off as a simple cold turned into a snot-knocker that had me down for two weeks and now, four weeks later, I am still fighting it.

I have not been able to train at all and am still at 80-85%. My training and race calendar need to be re-adjusted to account for my time lost in the base building phase. Wildflower Long Course is, unfortunately, out. It's not a race you can fake and will do longer term damage to my fitness and mental preparation.

I basically have to start my training cycle from scratch and I doubt that any of my early season training and fitness will be there when I begin again. It's unfortunate, but it is part of the lesson.

When I first got sick at the end of February I really should have slowed down and listened to my body. Instead, I was too impatient and started to train again after only a few days of resting. The body never lies. It always comes down to whether I want to put aside my ego and listen to what my body is telling me.

I always lose when I don't.

And I'm paying for it now.

After meeting with my coach, Muddy, we decided that we would wait until I felt 100% to get focused again. I am looking at getting things started next week.

The good news is that it is still very early in the year and I still have an opportunity to get solid training in before IMW.

ANDREA FISHER UPDATE

It's been a while since I have updated Andrea Fisher's cancer treatment.

After her last surgery, Andrea was prescribed an aggressive round of radiation and continued chemotherapy. Her team of doctors planned for four weeks of both radiation and chemo, then run tests to see where things are.

Yesterday was Andrea's last round of both radiation and chemo. Treatment is always difficult for her as it leaves her feeling exhausted, physically drained and sore. It's a long week of recovery only to get treatment and fall back into the difficulties of the aftermath.

Having completed treatment, it will be good for Andrea to have a chance to get back into the rhythm of life and family. She has been receiving weekly treatments for several months now and the time away from the hospital will be good for her.

Chemo treatment is a strange and deliberate process that often lasts an entire day. Patients receiving treatment spend a great portion of the day sitting quietly, waiting for their various bags of medicine to slowly drip into their veins through i.v. tubes.

The hours move slowly and, I am sure, it is time for them to reflect and ponder the why and how. I have been lucky to be able to change my work schedule to visit with Andrea almost every week and the time has been special for me.

In our busy lives we rarely have moments of clear perspective and understanding. And my afternoons with Andrea and other visiting friends has reminded me how lucky I am to have Andrea as a friend. As much as she is going through, seeing Andrea manage the everyday of her life, her kids' schedules, her thoughtfulness towards others and her positive and open heart is a gift that I need to always honor.

Although some might think my visits with Andrea have been about my support of her, it actually is more about her support of me and my faith in the importance of this life and the goodness and gratitude that I must always remind myself of; that I so often take for granted.

As much as this last round of radiation and chemo seem like a promising end to a long and difficult journey, there is still some uncertainty as to whether the cancer will be in remission. We are all hopeful for a positive outcome, but there still remains a shadow of uncertainty that is difficult to manage.

The doctors plan to run more tests and scans to see how treatment has gone. Andrea is hopeful and in good spirits but also thoughtful and considerate of all that lies ahead.

She and her family wanted to thank everyone for your good wishes of support and love. Your positive energy is important and meaningful and makes a difference.

SNOWBOARDING AND FIGHTING A COLD

It's been quite a while since I have logged in for an update. My apologies, but after my epic Mt. Hamilton climb, my family packed our bags and headed to Truckee/Tahoe for my daughter Keats' winter break for a week of skiing at Northstar.

It was a fantastic week with my family. Keats tried snowboarding for the first time and had a blast and some challenges. After an all day lesson, she boarded the rest of the week with Meena and I.

We charged for three days and Keats had the opportunity to meet up with some friends. The weather was amazing and the previous month of snowstorms made for a great base of snow. Daily temperatures averaged 55 degrees and Sun. We ended up shedding our jackets every day and boarded in our base layers. Unbelievable.

After three full days of good quality boarding, we were all pretty wiped out. Meena and Keats wanted to sleep in on the fourth day and play the day by ear. They ended up sleeping for 11 hours! We decided to hang out and spend the day in Tahoe City and Truckee.

Some of the best memories I have are of my winter breaks with my family and friends. I am hoping it has the same impression on Keats. She's at the age where the social world is opening up for her and friends are becoming very, very important. I am grateful she had the opportunity to spend it with her friends.

After coming home, we all ended up getting sick. I have been fighting a cold for the past week and have not been able to train at all.

I did head out yesterday for a quick 30 minute run. Although it was short, it was good to finally get my aerobic engine working again. I am feeling good enough to get things started again tomorrow.

I am a little stressed about Wildflower. It is only two months away and getting sick after a week of non-specific activity has set me back, I am sure.

I have to move forward nonetheless and just concentrate on what I need to do to get ready for Wildflower.

At the core of it, this challenge is what triathlon is all about. Facing adversity and challenge, adapting and overcoming what obstacles or doubts exist. Pushing through and believing in yourself. All good things when put in that perspective.

It is a good challenge that I will try to manage as best as possible.

A GREAT DAY ON MT. HAMILTON

I was fortunate to have one of the best experiences I have had training in a long time. It was also one of the toughest I have faced ever.

Almost every Saturday, my coach, Muddy, organizes and oversees a group ride for his athletes. We often meet at a designated place and head out for a solid group ride. Muddy will always follow with his vespa to make sure we are all okay and also to coach us as we ride. It's really an incredible thing he does and is characteristic of how much he cares for all of us.

This past Saturday, we met at his house in downtown San Jose and rode together to Mount Hamilton Road. It's a legendary climb in the San Jose area and consists of a 20 mile climb that summits at the Lick Observatory.

Although we started as a group of 10, the group quickly splintered. I fell off the pace pretty quickly, but I felt good throughout the first 2/3 of the climb. I was riding closely with my friend, Reyna, but she pulled away during the last 7 mile segment.

I was super focused on finishing and, although my legs and back were KILLING me, I kept thinking I couldn't quit. I thought of Andrea Fisher each time I slowed or cracked a little and knew there was no way I was going to not summit the climb. Andrea doesn't have a choice and neither should I.

The pack waited at the observatory and were able to shout down to me during the last 1/2 mile of the climb. I was totally cooked by then, but it felt great to get the support and to take in the view after I finished!

Honestly, the ride down was even gnarlier! Wet asphalt, rocks, potholes and long drop-offs. I took my time and actually really enjoyed the cruise. Of course, the rest of the group blazed down with no problem and really hammered it back to Muddy's.

After our ride, Muddy and his wife, Barbara, opened their home and barbecued lunch for everyone. Unfortunately, I had to leave early and couldn't stay for lunch. It would have been great to hang out with everyone and talk story, but I was lucky enough to hang out with the Fishers, who took me to Avatar in 3D for my birthday.

All in all, it was a great day and a huge investment in my early season base training.

TRAINING UPDATE WEEK 4 & 5

I have been remiss in my training updates over the past 1.5 weeks but am glad to report that training has gone very well.

We have been dealing with some heavy rain and cold weather, which is something that has been a bit unusual for us over the past few years. We get rain and actual rain storms, but it seems that this year has been excessively heavy.

Training has been good nonetheless. I have been able to string together strong workout sessions in each discipline and am feeling stronger and more focused each day.

The highlights for each sport:

Swim: I have been averaging at least 3000 yards per swim. I'm feeling stronger and have focused on longer endurance sets. I have concentrated distance per stroke and form and have found myself feeling much more comfortable in the water.

Bike: My leg strength and overall base endurance has been improving. Although the weather has been a challenge, I have spent some lengthy time on the indoor turbo trainer. My coach, Muddy, holds two turbo training sessions a week at a local bike store and really works to build our aerobic engine. I have also been able to get some longer rides on the road when the weather is good.

Run: The past few weeks have been a steady build with my longest run at 2 hrs. I am focusing on very easy aerobic runs to build strength and aerobic fitness. This past Sunday, I ran the Kaiser Permanente Half Marathon in San Francisco. It's the first race of the year and a great start to the season. I have a ton of friends racing and it's great to see everyone during the race. Fast or slow, it's always nice to see your friends. I ran a 1:45:47 and was very happy with the time, though I can't seem to break 1:45 to save my life.

I am feeling and looking fitter by the day. My weight is still hovering around 195-197 lbs, but I am feeling much better than I was at the start of my training cycle.

I am still trying to make good eating choices and have really stayed away from fried foods and overeating. I did have Happy Hound for my birthday and also Burger Meister for my post Kaiser Permanente Half meal. It was worth it, but only for a treat.

That's all for now.

CONCEPT CYCLERY. SPECIALIZED TRANSITION & MY NEW RIG!

I recently decided that this was going to be the year that I purchased a new bike. I have been riding my Calfee now for 5 years and have had a great experience with it, but I have found an increasing need for a more aggressive time trial position and a fit that will help me create more power.

I have had lower back issues before and wanted to make sure I would be okay getting onto a time trial/tri bike geometry--which moves the rider forward on the bike and tries to create a lower profile cockpit.

My coach, Muddy, suggested I talk with Elliot at Concept Cyclery to see if I could protect my back and still get onto a TT bike. I can't say enough about Elliot's attention to detail and also Concept's awesome fit room and overall philosophy. Elliot spent two full afternoons with me: the first to determine whether or not I could accomplish my fit and comfort goals and the second to fine tune and fit me perfectly to the bike.


Concept has a separate fit room with frontal and side video capture with a plasma screen to analyze pedal stroke and position, as well as a lounge area to wait while Elliot fine tunes your fit. The shop is also connected to a great coffee house where you can enjoy a latte or chai tea and snack.

The staff and customer service at Concept is outstanding. It has been by far the best experience I have had with a bike shop. And through it all, I was able to find the right TT bike for what I needed: Specialized Transition Expert (size medium) with Shimano Ultegra.

I am excited to have my new rig and look forward to taking it out soon. I will need to monitor my lower back and make sure that I pay attention to my body. I will have to really focus on my flexibility and core strength.

I am hoping my new ride will improve my overall bike time and generate more power where I need it.

I am grateful to Elliot (pictured above) and Concept Cyclery. They were outstanding.

WEEK 3 UPDATE

Week three's theme seemed to be rain, rain, and more rain.

I would like to think I have the patience and thickness of skin to train in inclement weather, but this past week was a big challenge for me.

It was cold, wet and had some scattered thunderstorms. All very unusual things for California. We get rain, but it is often only for a few days and never really that hard. Throughout the week, we had very hard rain, high winds, fallen trees, hail, and low temperatures (for California).

As much as I would like to say I trained through it all, I didn't.

I was, however, able to get two good days of running and two solid days of cycling in. I did not swim at all given the weather and my lack of a stronger constitution.

The highlight of the week was riding 42 tough miles on Saturday, which included hill repeats out at Silver Creek in San Jose. It is a 6 mile loop that has a lengthy initial climb, a fast decent and turn around then a short intense climb and a longish descent back to the start.

My coach, Muddy Waters, organizes and oversees his group of athletes almost every Saturday. The ride consists of a 13 mile warm up on mostly flat roads then as many hill repeats as you can do before returning on the same road back (or lengthening it if your training schedule requires).

It was the first "real" ride of the year and I was cooked after only two loops. Muddy shut me down (thank you, Muddy) and told me to head home. The tough part is that the rest of the group completed either 3 or 4 repeats, but the reality is that I didn't have much left after two. I will be riding Silver Creek most weekends moving forward and plan to increase my count as the season unfolds.

Sunday's long run was a challenge, but I managed to run for 90 good minutes. Weather was cooperative and the Los Gatos Creek Trail was busy with runners and walkers. It's a great path to run on and offers good climbing one way and a flatter run the other.

My legs were cooked from Saturday's hill repeats, but it was good to have two challenging days back to back.

There really is nothing like finishing my Sunday long run and having the rest of the day to relax and recover (most Sundays). Although my week's training was not as full as I would have liked, I did have quality workouts when I trained.

I try to keep weeks like this past one in perspective, but it is a fine line between being overly compulsive and guilt ridden and too disconnected to be focused enough. I teeter on both sides but try to keep a healthy perspective.

The old me would have chastised myself relentlessly for missing a workout, for not having the commitment to push through the bad weather, but I know that I have to forgive myself sometimes and to honor the other areas of my life that have great importance as well: family, work, my mental and emotional health among them.

I also know that, at times, I can be too easy on myself, that I can talk myself out of training with the idea that I can train the next day. It's something that I have to continually manage and also to remember that, really, there is no tomorrow. Nothing is really guaranteed.

This is the great thing about sport and especially triathlons. When treated with respect and sensitivity, the challenge really has to do with balance, life management and constant inner dialogue about healthy choices and, I think most importantly, forgiveness and treating yourself with kindness. It's also about the hard work, the elevated heart rate, and the feeling of sore muscles.

Nothing is like it. Nothing.

PS Update on my weight and body composition: There really is not change as of yet. I am hovering at 197 lbs and 33% body fat. I have been eating very well and really focusing on portion sizes. I feel a great difference overall. My commitment to "push away" from the table has been very empowering. My long term weight goals will begin to show themselves as my training increases. The small changes I have made in my choices have been tremendous and has created a new awareness of control that I had forgotten about. I am feeling good about that.

ANDREA'S SURGERY

I am relieved to report that Andrea's surgery went as well as can be expected. The surgeon successfully removed her spleen.

During a previous surgery, they had removed a cancerous tumor that was attached to her diaphragm. At the time, they were hopeful but not sure if they had removed all of the cancer.

Today, they re-examined Andrea's diaphragm and discovered two new spots where cancer still existed. The surgeon removed more of her diaphragm and was able to get clean enough margins from the lab to feel he removed the remaining cancer.

The diaphragm is the muscle that runs along your trunk that assists your breathing. Because a portion of hers has been removed, Andrea will have to learn how to breathe without the full assistance of her diaphragm.

She will be recovering in the hospital until Tuesday or Wednesday of next week. She will have a long recovery and eventually will begin chemo again.

The photo above was taken during her per-op today. After all they have been through, the life and spirit Andrea and Steve still have in their eyes is incredible. Awe inspiring.

Andrea still has a long road, but she has the love and support of so many people.

I am lucky to be one of them.

RACING FOR ANDREA

I received word today that my friend, Andrea Fisher, is going in for surgery tomorrow to remove her spleen. Andrea is the person who has motivated me to race in honor of the Livestrong Foundation at Ironman Wisconsin.

She has been fighting a rare form of cancer that started on her tongue and has metastasized in several places throughout her body. She has been undergoing chemotherapy for several months and the tumors have been shrinking with the treatment. The doctors, however, have decided to remove Andrea's spleen as the cancer has spread there.

Since being diagnosed, Andrea has endured several tongue and jaw surgeries, radiation, chemotherapy and living with a deep and constant pain. Through it all, she has shown a spirit and heart that both inspires and humbles me.

I have known Andrea for more than half my life. She is married to my best friend, Steve, who I have known since the first day of 7th grade in 1977. Through the years, Andrea has also become one of my best and closest friends. Steve and Andrea will raise my daughter, Keats, if anything were to happen to my x-wife, Anne, my wife, Meena, and me.

I have always loved the fact that the Fishers have treated Keats as their own, loving and caring for her with an open heart. My daughter's world is much larger because of their love. She understands the meaning and responsibility of friendship, kindness, and generosity because that is what has been given to her freely by not only the Fishers but all of my closest friends.

There is nothing more comforting, I think, than knowing your child is cared and loved for by others outside your immediate family. There is a sense of community and faith in the world that quiets the skeptic in me.

My coach, Muddy Waters, has told me that the Ironman is "just a long day of exercise." And, frankly, in light of what my friend Andrea is going through, nothing could be truer. There is a part of me that understands what is going on; that, in the starkest of realities, understands that Andrea is fighting for her life. It is a fact that on certain levels, I can manage, contain and keep at a distance because, I believe, that is what men do (at least what I do) to manage the emotionality of it all.

But there is the deeper and more difficult struggle of the "why" that, when I allow myself, overwhelms me. Andrea is one of the kindest, considerate, loving, gentlest people I know. She has always been mindful of her health, her body, spirit and family. And the idea of her being sick does not make sense to me.

There have been times in my life when I have lived in darkness. I have struggled. I have lived uneasily without gratitude or breath. Through those times, Andrea has been one of a few who stuck with me, who believed in me when I did not. Like my daughter, Andrea taught me the deeper meaning of friendship. She simplified the world for me, uncomplicated it with a gentle heart and compassion that renewed my trust in all things.

That trust is being tested now, but I know to lose faith is to sacrifice the gift Andrea has given to me. So as I begin to train for Ironman Wisconsin, my purpose is very clear. It is true and important that I am racing for the Livestrong Foundation, but, really, I am racing for her.

2ND WEEK UPDATE

I'm glad the season is a long one and that I am starting early in my build up. I have Wildflower Long Course on May 1st as my first A race of the year.

My 2nd week of focused training turned into a greater challenge of balancing work and health. I was focused on a presentation during Sunday and Monday of last week and had to work into the early morning hours.

The presentation was a sort of "State of Sereno Group" looking at where our company has come from and looking forward to our goals ahead. It was also a reminder that our company culture is one of our most important gifts and that everyone at Sereno Group needs to work to protect and nurture it.

The presentation to the Los Gatos and Saratoga agents went well. And I am glad I worked as hard as I did, but the by-product of that effort gave me a cold that I have been trying to shake since Tuesday.

I wasn't even close to 100% all week and really did not want to train while fighting a cold. I worked hard at my Wednesday turbo training class and ran 50 minutes on Thursday, but I didn't feel at all good and shut it down.

The week was a positive one in other aspects of my life. Vibe was great at work and the presentation really set up the rest of 2010 for everyone. We have a good picture of what we need to do moving forward as an organization.

Training wise, the week was a wash, but I am not going to trip too much on it. The season is a long one with many good days and many not so good days. I have to be mindful enough to let go of the not so good and focus on the good.

This is not something I can easily do, but I have worked hard not to get my mind on the treadmill of guilt. The biggest challenge with triathlon, I think, is not getting faster, but the balance that one has to maintain in order to create success in all facets of life.

This was something I had to learn the hard way, but it is a lesson well learned and understood for me.

I was okay with my food choices this week, but I did indulge on a few fries. I picked off of my wife's plate and they weren't as good as I thought they would be. The week of inactivity probably did not do me any favors, but I am still in good spirits and excited to be where I am.

I am still fighting the cold, but I hope to get back to training by tomorrow. I am writing this post while mobile and do not have access to my scale. I will update the numbers later.

Happy living.

GETTING INVOLVED

I have learned in the very short time I have been involved with the Janus Charity Challenge that racing for a cause of any kind makes the experience of preparation, training and, I hope and anticipate, participating much more meaningful and life-changing.

I have been fortunate to finish two Ironman distance events (Wisconsin '05 & Couer d'Alene '07) and had deeply emotional and otherworldly experiences at each. Wisconsin was the first time I had challenged and stretched myself so physically and mentally. And Couer d'Alene was a test to see if I could improve from Wisconsin.

The training and racing was a journey into the unknown and challenged me in ways I never thought possible. I will never forget crossing the finish line and the sense of accomplishment and overwhelming bewilderment I felt. It was special and deeply personal, but what I have discovered is that making the race about something larger than myself is far more satisfying and purposeful.

Committing to raise money for the Livestrong Foundation in honor of the people I know and love who have or are fighting cancer connects me to the world in ways training and racing for myself never could. I am hoping to make a difference in some small way and through my experience bring positive energy to the karmic universe.

I encourage anyone who is thinking of racing this coming year to seek out opportunities to support a charity. Team in Training, Challenged Athletes Foundation and Janus Charity Challenge (for Ironman North America events) are just a few of the organizations that participants can affiliate with.

Check your races to see if they have a foundation or a fundraising program or research and sign up for races that benefit a charity or foundation.

We can all make a difference in some way while doing the very thing we love to do.

I am grateful for the opportunity and the experience.

Creating mobile blogging with go.blogger.com.

First Week Report

I am a few days late in updating my first week of actually training, but I have been busy with a work presentation and could not get to the update like I had planned.

The first real focused week went well:

Swimming: 4,000 yards
Cycling: approximately 65 miles (two coached turbo training workouts and 40 mile weekend ride).
Running: approximately 15 miles

All in all not a huge week of training, but it was a good start.

I have not swam or cycled for months, but I am in okay run shape b/c of my marathon training for the California International Marathon in December. My goal was to finish sub-4:00 and I made it: 3:59 gun time/3:57 timing chip time.

I have made a conscious decision to eliminate fried foods from my diet (doh!) and have been able to stay away from fries (my favorite) and other indulgent favorites. It's been an interesting experience and one that I have found to be satisfying when I make the right choices.

I have always had the weight (no pun intended) of my decisions in the back of my mind, knowing ordering greasy, deep fried foods was not a good one. At the same time, I knew that if I just made the decision to say no to those things, the experience (I imagined) would be empowering. I just always went with the impulse and not the disciplined choice.

After a week, I can say that my thinking was correct. Although there is a moment of indecision and teetering when ordering, I am always way more satisfied after the meal than I would be if I ate the side of fries. And it is empowering.

It's good to know that I have the will power and the ability to make the right decision. As strange as it might sound, that has been a very big experience for me. I have control and empowerment in other areas of my life, but for some reason food has always been a weakness.

I have also realized that I have strange anxiety with food, often fearing that I am not going to have enough to be full. This ultimately causes me to overeat. I know that my extra weight is caused not only by my love for fried foods but also and mainly portion sizes.

I'm really not sure when that programming happened. I came from a home that food was never scarce. It was around whenever I needed it--which really could be the reason I eat so much of it!

I invested in a body fat scale to track my weight and fat percentage progress. I didn't want to spend $100+ for a Tanita or any of the higher end models. I researched and decided to go with Trimmer Health Body Fat Scale I found on overstock.com, which is a great place to find good deals on everything. It was reasonably priced at $35 and my on-line research said the model was a decent one.

I weighed myself this morning:

196 lbs.
34% body fat (ugh!)
28% muscle mass
? total body water (I can't remember, but I was dehydrated according to the scale)

It's obvious that I need to get leaner. I was super disappointed with my body fat percentage, but it's a good motivator.

I plan to report my weight and body fat percentages once a week.

Overall, it's been a great week. I have a long way to go, but I am excited to be blogging and being accountable to my choices.

RACING FOR A CAUSE

As I mentioned in the sub-title to my blog, I will be racing in honor and in memory of family and friends who are battling or have battled cancer. I have registered with the Janus Charity Challenge and will be raising money for the Livestrong Foundation. My goal is to raise at least $5,000 and will be launching my fund raising campaign by the end of January.

My Mother is a survivor of uterine cancer which was diagnosed in 2005. It obviously was a difficult time, but luckily it was caught early. My mother was aggressive in her treatment and is a 5 year survivor.

Over the past 2 years, I have personally known 7 people who have had cancer treatment. My daughter's 12 year old friend, Alexis, past away from bone cancer this past year. Five colleagues had cancer treatment with a majority fighting breast cancer. And for the past three months my best friend's wife is undergoing chemo.

It's a strange and difficult series of coincidences. An emotional and unavoidable reality that puts everything into perspective. The world keeps moving, but I see my friends fighting their disease with dignity and strength. So little of what I clutter and complicate my life with matters in light of their struggle. I am at once ashamed and inspired, crestfallen and proud, helpless and empowered.

I decided to honor them and everyone who is fighting cancer through Ironman Wisconsin. I am committed to contribute and to make the race about something greater and more meaningful than me.

I am training and racing for them.

First Week of the New Year

I am starting this blog as a fun way to help me process my training and to also (and mainly) to create a sense of accountability to my training and triathlon lifestyle. I am a little self-conscious about blogging, but I figure it's a good way for me to communicate and participate in my training in a new way.

I completed my first triathlon in August 1990, shortly after my father passed away at a very young 52. Perhaps as a way to cope with his death, I committed my life 100% to triathlon and, for the next several years, lived singularly focused on training and racing. As a result of an unbalanced priority perspective and an overly compulsive (and unhealthy) commitment to training, I burned out completely.

After coming home from a ride during the summer of 1994, I got off my ride and essentially sold or gave away everything and anything that had to do with triathlon.

I didn't swim, bike or run for 8 years. The day it changed was when I found some of my old tri racing photos and showed it to my wife who, without really thinking, asked me, "What happened?"

I bought a bike the next day and started training. Age and time away had taken its toll, however. For the first three years, I battled weight and injury issues and, even though I completed Ironman Wisconsin 2005-14:03:27 (and also IM Coeur d'Alene '07-12:20:13), I have never been able to get back to my lean racing weight of my earlier days.

I'm 43 now and understand that I've gotten older, my body has changed and my recovery is slower, but I realize now that I have been using that as an excuse not to fully commit to the lifestyle.

I train but always with a careful reluctance to jump completely in. After burning out so badly, I am wary of burning out again. I do realize, however, that I need to raise my commitment to a far greater level.

The triathlon lifestyle, if treated with respect and commitment, offers the promise of good health and mindfulness. It offers an incredible opportunity to challenge and, at the very best moments, a chance to see inside yourself without filter or pretense. And through this, you come to understand yourself in new ways.

Where my training life is most lacking is through the 4th discipline of diet and weight. I have always loved eating and, in younger and more in-shape years, trained to eat. I can no longer live that life.

I am 5'9" and my present weight is 200 lbs. My goal is to race IMW at 170 lbs.

I plan to trace all aspects of my 2010 training and my relative life experiences through this blog and to keep a running dialogue of what I am experiencing, accomplishing, being challenged by, and really feeling about my new commitment. I hope this blog will act as an avenue for me to understand myself and my motivations in a deeper, more mindful way.

My weight goal is about creating a healthier lifestyle and a deeper commitment to my future. And it begins now.